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01/18/2005 Archived Entry: "And the Award Goes to...."

The New York Daily News reports on dubious awards....

You don't have to be stopped by airport security or go to prison to win an Esquire Dubious Achievement Award - but it helps. Once again, the magazine's editors have selected the richest, most succulent morsels of celebrity absurdity.

Sen. Ted Kennedy is back on the list, thanks to those vigilant sentries who blocked him from boarding planes three different times because a similar name appeared on a federal counterterrorism watch list.

Similarly, Esquire salutes Nicole Richie for being forced to bare her breasts when her nipple ring set off an airport metal detector.

Ex-dictator Saddam Hussein wins a Dubie for taking up the gentle prison pastimes of gardening, enjoying cookies and muffins, and writing poetry. Fellow convict Martha Stewart earns her place by describing her West Virginia prison as as being "like an old-fashioned college campus, without the freedom."

But, among pandering political figures, the mag can find no one to top Sen. John Kerry, who entered an Ohio grocery store and asked, "Can I get me a hunting license here?"