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04/02/2004 Archived Entry: "ibiblio April Fool's"

Before it vanishes, hop over to ibiblio and check out their April Fool's headlines. Top story: "Duke University Purchases Public Domain."

In a move shocking to all,
Duke University, of Durham, North Carolina, purchased the entirety of the public domain late last evening for a fee of 2.2 trillion dollars. Sources familiar with the negotiation report that Duke's reclamation of the public domain is unprecedented. As a result of the purchase, Duke University is the sole rights-holder to a huge collection of materials, including the Bible, the works of Shakespeare and Dante, and Francis Scott Key's The Star Spangled Banner.

Dr. Eko J. Asti, Director of the newly-established Duke Center for the Control of the Public Domain (DUCFCPD), says "the only way to preserve access to materials in the public domain is to control their rights. The DUCFCPD looks forward to the challenges presented governing such an incredible body of work."

I'm sure no one will be surprised that this is my favorite:

SCO, Disney and Microsoft Announce Merger

Unsure as how to respond to the news of Duke's purchase, SCO, Disney and Microsoft merged this morning. Apparently the process was so spur-of-the-moment, the best name they could come up with is SCODisneyMicrosoft. According to one insider: "No one even objected when SCO got first bill on the name. I mean, can you believe that? The lawyers were all walking around completely tongue-tied, its been a mess. Apparently some build engineers at Microsoft are now running Disneyland, and the one guy who does QA at SCO is now a mid-level HR exec at Microsoft. It's totally crazy." The Justice Department, when reached regarding the merger, had no comment.

brad